


(for the first time in forever) i will be right here

by jenrenfics



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 18:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20412580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenrenfics/pseuds/jenrenfics
Summary: Will this message ever reach you? I hope so.I just want you to know that I will be right here.I love you, Renjun. Always and forever.— Jeno





	(for the first time in forever) i will be right here

**Author's Note:**

> soooo... my first attempt at angst and i kinda cried lol ;-; 
> 
> its only 900+ words so it's fairly short but i still hope u like it !!

Jeno wakes up to the sound of Renjun singing beside him. It's a familiar tune, one that has been embedded into his mind. Ever since they first met, this was the song that intertwined their fates together, and it is something that Jeno still holds dear to his heart. He lets himself be intoxicated by Renjun's honey-like vocals until he finishes.

“‘Cause for the first time in forever... I will be right here.”

Jeno claps his hands together, finally opening his eyes to welcome the sight of Renjun smiling down at him. His boyfriend's face looks much more ethereal than usual, with his bangs flowing freely over his forehead, his eyes glinting against the moonlight. He smells like lilies, Jeno takes note.

“Did you change your perfume?” asks Jeno, shifting to the side so he can see Renjun better. It's a bit dark in the room, but he'd rather have the only source of light be the moon outside; it makes the scenery more intimate and romantic.

Renjun cocks his head to the side in confusion and sniffs his chest. “Do I?”

Jeno nods. “You always wore strong-smelling perfumes. But right now, you smell sweet.”

“Aw, thanks, Jeno.” Renjun reaches for Jeno's hand and gives it a soft squeeze. “Did you wait long for me?”

“Yeah. I cooked dinner for the both of us because how long has it been since the last time we had our daily dinner dates? Like, a few months ago?” Jeno rubs his thumb along Renjun's index finger, before continuing, “I know you're quite busy with work. Me, too, with all the modelling gigs I get.”

Renjun brings his hand on Jeno's hair and caresses it gently and Jeno sinks to the feeling. “Thank you, Jeno. And I'm really sorry I wasn't able to make it. Believe me, I tried to rush.”

“Don't worry, Renjun. I'm not mad. What's important is now, you're here. I can sleep much more peacefully knowing you're home. Do you know how bad I worry about you when you're not home past ten?”

“You always worry about me and I am forever grateful for that.” Renjun presses his lips on Jeno's forehead and lets it linger there for a moment. “I'm so lucky to have you, Jeno.”

Jeno feels something wet. He immediately looks up and notices the tears falling from Renjun's eyes. He wipes them away with his thumb and cups Renjun's cheeks with a hand. “Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?”

Renjun shakes his hand and sits up straight, putting on a smile that doesn't quite reach his ears. He takes Jeno's hand and hold it close to his heart. “You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. You know that, right?”

“Yes, Renjun.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Renjun wraps his arms around Jeno's waist and says, “That's so nice to hear.”

“But I don't understand. Why do you sound so sad?” Jeno croaks while rubbing circles around Renjun's back. “You're making me confused.”

Renjun doesn't respond to that and just buries his face on Jeno's shoulder, his jagged breaths slowly relaxing. Jeno feels their heartbeats, both matching in pace and strength. He smiles at that, knowing well that Renjun loves him despite the odd behavior he's currently displaying.

“We should go to sleep,” Renjun says, pulling himself away from Jeno.

Jeno nods and goes to the other side of the bed, watching Renjun take the space next to him. He pulls the blankets up and places his on Renjun's small torso. The latter does the same, and for a moment, Jeno feels the cold wind enter through the bedroom window. It makes him shiver, and Renjun scoots closer to bring Jeno near his body, sharing his warmth.

“Sleep tight, my love. Tomorrow will be another day for you.”

Jeno inhales Renjun's scent for one last time, hums, and falls asleep on Renjun's arms.

The next morning, the news broke out.

At first, it didn't easily register, as if it was just a bad joke from his friends. After all, his friends liked to prank him, but this time they were going too far, like they were actuslly serious. He laughed for a few minutes before the reporter on his television screen mentioned a familiar person's name.

“...Huang Renjun, 20, was found dead after his car collided with another speeding vehicle. According to one witness, it all happened so fast because both vehicles were driving almost in the speed of light...”

That's why you were saying a lot of good things the night we talked.

Little did I know it was your ghost I was talking to.

Everything felt real. The way you touched my hand and kissed my forehed. The way you brought me to your embrace. It all felt real.

And you wanted to tell me everything before saying goodbye.

You didn't say goodbye, though.

Instead, you slept with me even though you know that you couldn't because you've passed away. Told me tomorrow will be another morning.

For me.

Not for you.

I want to blame myself but I know you wouldn't like that.

You would say it's not my fault.

I didn't cry when i found out. I was numb all over.

I'm only crying now.

Will this message ever reach you? I hope so.  
I just want you to know that I will be right here.

  
I love you, Renjun. Always and forever.

  
— Jeno

**Author's Note:**

> ☆ kudos + comments are greatly appreciated and encouraged!!! twitter | curiouscat ☆
> 
> p.s. im already working on three more stories + the promised markhyuck prequel for i need you (and your espresso) so pls stay tuned !!


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